by Casey Parish
As one goes about the business of living a life, as most tend to do at some point or another, they will encounter others with which they feel compelled to share bits of information. These bits are not unlike bricks with which to build a solid structure or, in this case, a relationship. The nature of this relationship depends on which bits you share and at what time you share them.
At this point I mean to be very emphatic on the timing of the distribution of certain bits of information. Example: When given materials to build a house, a man should not even begin to look at the roofing material until he has built a foundation and walls. The foundation is the most important part of every structure because if it fails, the rest falls apart. Think of the building materials as all the bits of information that you have at your disposal with which to build a relationship with another person. To ensure that this relationship lasts and doesn’t fall apart, you must have a solid foundation.
A relationship’s foundation can be initiated by relatively trivial things like: where you work, what you do at work, what your favorite color is, and where you place yourself on the political spectrum. However, a foundation completely comprised of these bits can hardly be called complete. The element that ensures a solid foundation that will last for some time is the birth weight.
Everyone should know their birth weight just as everyone should know their social security number. It is the first fact about yourself, other than your sex, which should be apparent, that you may not have in common with the person with whom you are trying to form a relationship. It is not about what you have in common, but what sets you apart from the others. I once made the mistake of sharing (in an attempt to ensure a solid foundation for a relationship) “When I was born it was noted that I had ten fingers and ten toes.” To this the receiver replied “Yeah, me too. And so did about 47% of the town I grew up in.” The foundation for that relationship shattered before it could be set into place…
When one share’s their birth weight with another, he should expect the other’s birth weight in return. It is like extending a handshake: When the hand is offered, if there is a sense of mutual understanding, the other fellow will receive the hand and shake it about. When the birth weight is offered, a reply along the lines of “Oh! Well I was [birth weight]…” should be the result. If it isn’t then the one who initiated the birth weight info misjudged the other fellow’s desire to have any sort of real relationship. However, you likely can still be able to count on these people to give a “hello” or “how are you doing?” in a cold impersonal way that is more formality than genuine curiosity.
Ah, birth weight. Try and remember a time in your life when you didn’t know your own… you can’t. Why? Because your parents wanted to have a long-lasting relationship with and so they chose the most solid sort of verbal-informational mortar that could form the foundation. “Did you know that you were 9lbs 1oz?” my mother has asked me every single day since I arrived.